Catholic Doula Care
Visitation Birth
How do I serve?
My name is Ellen, and I’m a Catholic mom, former student midwife, and 4x Hyperemesis Gravidarum survivor. I hit the pause on formal work and study in the birth world after coming to the decision that I didn’t want to be a midwife; instead, I want to focus on helping moms as a doula, providing non-medical comfort measures and emotional and spiritual encouragement.
As a Catholic, I see birth through the lens of that Faith: It is a gift and trial like no other, giving us, as women, an unrepeatable chance to join Christ in His work to redeem the world by bringing life into the world. I hope that, as Mary and Elizabeth helped each other when they were pregnant with Jesus and St. John, I can stand next to you as your doula and help you in your journey as a mother. Let’s talk!
Where do I serve?
I’m located in Jaffrey, NH, in the heart of the Monadnock Region. Immediately surrounding towns are Peterborough, Dublin, Troy, Fitzwilliam, Rindge, New Ipswich, Sharon and Temple. I’m happy to travel up to approximately an hour away for home births, birth centers, or hospital births: as far south as Worcester, MA, west past Keene, NH, east to the greater Nashua and Manchester areas, and, if necessary, as far north as Dartmouth-Hitchcock in Lebanon, NH.
For pre- and post-natal visits, if you’d like to get out, I have an office separate from the rest of our home on our small family farm in Jaffrey, next to the Monadnock State Forest. Or I can come to you!
“Birth was and will always be the most commonplace of miracles, an event at once familiar and phenomenal, timeless and immediate, briefly making angels of us all." -Jennifer Worth, Call the Midwife
Mission
My mission as a doula is to support women through what is often the most transformative experience of their lives—emotionally, physically, and, most important, spiritually. I aim to enable them to know their choices when it comes to how their babies are born, to enable them to find their voices, and to be that voice for them when they can’t speak for themselves. As a career editor, I’m good at helping people find their voices!
Vision
My experience of birth is informed most immediately through my own children, but also through my time as a student midwife and through courses in doula work.
My husband and I initially struggled with conception; when we did finally solve that, we were met with the exhausting heartache of Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which overshadowed the complete pregnancies of all of our kids. But in these hardships, I have found that my compassion for other moms, first discovered during my time as a student midwife, has only grown. And so has my desire to do something with all of that hard-won knowledge! Even as a student midwife, I came to realize that I didn’t want to be in charge of the medical side of labor. Instead, I wanted to focus on the spiritual and emotional encouragement of women, in order to help them physically: with soothing words and touch, holding their hands through contractions and stitches, living out compassion for them in a very literal way.
The way a woman is treated during her pregnancy and especially during her labor will define how she recalls and evaluates that indelible memory for the rest of her life. (Penny Simkins, author of The Birth Partner, talks about this.) For good or ill, her birth experience will vastly influence how she views her worth and capability as a woman and a mother. For this and so many other reasons, I feel a great call to stand next to my fellow women during this most vulnerable passage and do what I can to help them meet the struggle with courage, surrender, joy and peace.
I think a lot about the example given to us by Mary and Elizabeth in scripture: Women should be with other women through this God-given joyous and difficult work. We should sit and visit with each other, we should stand and laugh, and we should help each other to bear our most precious burden, whether it comes suddenly, as it did for young Mary, or is long-awaited, as it was for old Elizabeth.
Birth is a moment where the veil between heaven and earth becomes very thin. As mothers, we are seldom, if ever, as close to Christ as we are during this time when he asks so very much of us. Venerable Fulton Sheen says it best:
Not only a woman’s days, but her nights—not only her mind, but her body must share in the Calvary of motherhood. That is why women have a surer understanding of the doctrine of redemption than men have: they have to associate the risk of death with life in childbirth, and to understand the sacrifice of self to another through the many months preceding it.
In other words, “This is my body, which is given up for you.”
Just as Jesus did not carry his own cross entirely alone, but instead welcomed the help of Simon of Cyrene, so too should we look to each other for help as we join him by carrying this tremendous gift he has given to us.
My hope for each mother is that her birth experience allows her this experience of transcendent spiritual transformation—that she receives the physical, emotional and psychological support that will allow this natural and supernatural moment to let her know her worth and dignity, not just as a woman and mother, but also as a beloved and trusted child of God.
Services
Care for Moms & Babies
For each of my clients, I offer two prenatal visits, each two hours long, focused on getting to know each other, making sure you’re comfortable with me, learning your birth preferences, and answering any non-medical questions related to your pregnancy and birth.
When it comes time for Baby to make an appearance: I’ll be on call for you 24/7 starting at 37 weeks. I’ll stay in touch with you during early labor so we’ll know when I should join you for your homebirth, or meet you at your chosen birth center or hospital.
I’ll meet with you once at your home after Baby is born to see how you’re doing, to talk through anything you need, to hold the baby while you shower or sleep, or to clean your kitchen. Whatever would be most helpful for you!
My fee is $2,000. A non-refundable deposit of $500 will be due at our first prenatal visit; $1,000 will be due at 37 weeks; the remaining $500 will be due at the postpartum visit.
Hyperemesis Gravidarum
Are your pregnancy nausea and vomiting overwhelming you? Do you feel like this is more than what other moms talk about? Are you having trouble with basic daily tasks, finding that your exhaustion and nausea are leading to dehydration, weight loss, and incapacitating weakness? Does your husband suddenly smell awful to you (sorry, guys!), or do bright lights and sudden sounds make your stomach turn?
Let’s talk. I’ve been through this rare complication with each of my four babies, and, for me, the condition persisted through the end of each pregnancy. I’m here, and I want to help you navigate this particular and very real struggle.
For my Hyperemesis Gravidarum clients, I’m happy to offer an extra prenatal home visit, free of charge.
About Me
Hello!
My name is Ellen Toner, and I’ve been in love with birth work since I was a teenager. One of my best friends was the oldest of nine children, all of whom were born at home with a midwife; I was fascinated, and I eagerly borrowed the stack of natural childbirth books that her mother offered to me. In my 20s, I was accepted to the Certified Professional Midwife course of studies at the Midwives College of Utah; I spent a year doing coursework and getting hands-on experience through clinical work at a freestanding birth center.
Enter my now-husband, writer Jamey Toner: I knew he was a catch when I described the details of a particular placenta I’d been examining, and he didn’t go squeamish on me or run away! When I realized we were moving toward marriage, I made the choice to step away from birth work and instead focus on building a life and family with him, grateful for my already-established career as an editor (my undergraduate degree is in literature). But he and I both knew that that step away was a temporary pause, no matter how many years long it might be.
Now, with four hard-won children of our own, we have felt life’s seasons shifting, as they do. We are grateful for the opportunity for me to return to this most privileged work of helping mothers as they help Christ redeem the world through the sacrifice, labor and joy of pregnancy and childbirth. To that end, I’m simultaneously pursuing doula certifications with DONA International and The Catholic Doula. While doulas do not need certifications to work, I’ve been glad to return to coursework and reflection on what it means to be a birth assistant—and why it matters.
When I’m not reading books on maternal and fetal care, or watching birth videos, I write and edit for the Army and for Sophia Institute Press. And when I’m not doing that, I work with Jamey and our children—Sonya, Rebecca, James and Samuel—to care for our animals, here at our home on Tepeyac Sheep Farm in Jaffrey, NH, in the heart of the Monadnock Region of southern New Hampshire. Theoretically I garden and quilt as well, but there are only so many hours in day!
Staying true to my commitment to prioritize the needs of my own family, I am currently only accepting one client for each calendar month. If you think I might be a good fit for you and your growing family, please get in touch sooner rather than later. I would love the honor of working with you!